THE LO-FI POST
December 11, 2014
Send your prayers to Nick, who is reporting back to us from the titanic storm battering the California coastline right now:
Day 1, Northern California Super Storm: found old Nokia flip phone and managed to make a cell phone tower out of coat hangers I found in the hellish wreckage that was once Point Richmond. A dead great white shark washed up a mile inland, I'm going to bed down in its carcass and hopefully float to dry ground over night. Wish me luck, I'll check back in in the morning. Stay safe everyone, we can rebuild this.
Day 2, Northern California Super Storm: I don't know how I made it through the night. Fashioned a sail out of the clothes from corpses floating by my vessel and did nothing but cry through the haunting din of the end of our civilization. This morning met a group of survivors on the shores of El Cerrito Island. A resourceful and cunning people, in the last 24 hours they built a city out of the wreckage of downed airplanes, developed a bartering system, and began piecing together a new language so that we could communicate. Unfortunately, as we fled from a band of marauding tweakers, the El Cerritans became tangled in a brier of downed power lines. Only I managed to escape by hiding behind one of the last remaining, standing trees. The wind is so strong now I can barely open my eyes. My flip phone is almost out of pow
***UPDATE*** Day 2, Northern California Super Storm: Good news, found fully charged lack erry in an overturned ig rig on a cracked and loody section of Interstate 80. One of the uttons is roken on the key oard, ut this will have to do. To maintain my sanity out here, I am trying to recreate routines from my past life. Just found a can of Folgers Crystals and figured out that if I put it in my mustache and let the rain hit is for a few minutes, it's like a fresh cup of morning coffee. Just wanted to let you all know that all of your likes, comments and shares are a little it of solace for me during this waking nightmare. I see a tree fort up ahead. Will report ack soon.
***UPDATE 2*** Day 2, Northern California Super Storm: It's cold. It's dark. I have lockjaw from keeping my mouth open in the rain for the last two-and-a-half hours in an attempt to re-hydrate. There are many lessons to e learned in this new, roken world. The Tree Fort People would not let me in, even though I offered them the rest of my can of Folders Crystals. I spoke to a woman, Queen Sugar Snake, she was the leader of the Tree Fort People. Her ody was covered in tattoo art, I can only assume a pictorial representation of the history of her people. I'm on a hill now. I don't know where I am. I think it's Wednesday ut I can't e sure. I found a cache of Al ertson's plastic grocery ags. In an attempt to stay dry tonight, I am going to fix many of them securely around my entire face, hands and feet. Stay strong everyone. #WeWillRe uild