We're going to need all the king's horses
So go finalize your divorces
All hands on deck when the crisis begins

Last night we were dining on blueberry waffles
But tonight it's exceedingly awful
It's peas and porridge again

I won't take this for a minute
You won't take me for a fool

What's this you just put on the table?
It looks like it came from the stable
God damn it, it's peas and porridge again

I won't take this for a minute
You won't take me for a fool
If you knew what they put in it
You'd never make me eat this gruel

Last night we were dining on lamb shanks and lobster
But tonight you treat me like a mobster
Oh Jesus, it's peas and porridge again

This might be our last supper
This might be my last meal
End it fast I don't want to suffer
Numb my heart I don't want to feel

Last night we were dining on sherry and gruyere
Why is my life so unfair?
It's peas and porridge again